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I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the
word "service".
Internal Revenue "Service"
U.S. Postal "Service"
Telephone "Service"
T.V. "Service"
Civil "Service"
City & County Public "Service"
Customer "Service"
and "Service" Stations
This is not what I thought "service" meant. But today, I
overheard
two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull
to "service" a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into perspective.
I now understand what all
those "service" agencies are doing to us.
I take great joy in broadening your horizons,
once again,
I just hope you are as enlightened as I am
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The love story of Ralph and Edna.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day
while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped
into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom
and pulled
him out.
When the Nursing Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately
ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When she went
to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news
and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged,
since you were able to
rationally respond to a
crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have
concluded that your act
displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in his
bathroom
with the
belt from his dressing gown right after you saved him. I am so sorry,
but he's dead.'
Edna
replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
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Important Historical Info:
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on
old
war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the
problem. The best storage method devised was to
stack them as a square based
pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which
rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a
small area right next to the cannon.
There was only one
problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from
sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate
with
16 round indentations, called a Monkey.
But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly
rust to
it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and
much faster than
iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the
brass indentations would
shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would
come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough
to freeze the balls off a brass
monkey. And all this time, you thought that was a vulgar expression, didn't
you?
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A biker gets off work one night and says to himself, "Man, it's been a
long hard week, but it's Friday night, it's
pay day, and the weather is
perfect. I think I'll go for a little ride before going home."
Well, as these things
sometimes happen, he pulls into his drive on
Sunday afternoon. Of course his old lady is waiting at the door, very
displeased
to say the least!! "Where the hell have you been?" she
shouted, "What do you mean, taking off for two days without a phone
call
or nothing? How would you like it if you didn't see me for two days?"
Upset that she has ruined his good mood
the biker shouted back, "That
would be just fine by me!!!!"
Sure enough, on Monday he didn't see her. Tuesday came
around, and he
still didn't see her. On Wednesday, he saw her....just a little bit out
of one eye.
Thanks Dale
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COME AND RIDE WITH US!!!!
 
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